Lost Words
by MizAb
Summary: People didn’t understand the position I was in when I was in their world. I was a real person. But only one person saw that. Ichigo please listen to my last words. I don’t know if we’ll have another chance. IchigoXSenna, One shot.


**Hey ya'll before this one shot gets started. I'm just gonna say that if you haven't seen Bleach: Memories of Nobody then there are going to be spoilers. The real author's note will be at the end. Disclaimer: I don't owns Bleach. :(**

* * *

_"The meaning your words give_

_The feelings with no comparison_

_Emotions with no answer_

_If only we could communicate by meeting eye to eye_

_The things I hold in my hands are droplets of time_

_Softly I grasp them, forgotten memories, lost words_

_I'll keep these feelings in my heart"_

-No Regret Life, _"Lost Words"_

* * *

Memories…

Is that what I've been reduced too? A mere memory. No worse… A forgotten memory. You see, before when I was 'alive' people called me the Shinenju. I am the lost memories of the Blanks. I… for a moment I really thought I was just memories put together, but after Ichigo helped me realize something important: I was a real human being.

Ichigo… how I miss him. He was the only person that truly stood by my side when everything fell apart. I remember my departure very well.

"_Will we ever meet again?"_

"_What are you talking about? Of course we will."_

Before I disappeared I felt warm but it was mostly because I was so close to Ichigo. It felt nice like it was meant to be. There I go again. I keep thinking of things that will never come true. But recently I've been feeling very close to him. It's almost as if he's calling me to come back or at least his mind is. I want to let go of all my fears and worries and meet him again.

I think I will.

It's been sometime since we've seen each other. Maybe he won't be able to see me. But I will. He will have our memories. Memories that no one can replace.

As the moments pass, I can feel myself become lighter. Lighter than air. As strange as it seems.

There right in front of me appeared the town and the world I fell in love with. The bridge that ended everything. Everything seemed at peace. Who would have thought that it only took one life to create such happiness? It's hard to believe but it's true. It's the absolute truth.

So many memories of this bridge scare me. I can't believe everything ended here. My selfless act. But for once I truly wanted to be selfish. I wanted to live with everyone… with Ichigo. But it was all a lie! I wasn't suppose to meet him or anyone for that matter. My very existence was a lie not just to me but to Ichigo as well. But in truth… the way I felt was not a lie.

But I had to ignore them. From the moment I recognized my fate, I made a choice. It may not have been the best one, but it's the one I chose not just for the world, but for Ichigo. It's hard to let go of your life to let go of it so slowly. But I would have given it away a thousand times to save Ichigo and the world he lived in.

Yes, I was scared. Yes, I wanted to be selfish. Yes, I wanted to live a long time. I wanted to experience life to the fullest, but obviously that won't ever happen. All I can do now is hope for a better future for the people I sacrificed my life for.

I wanted to say 'I love you' to him. I wonder if he knew that. Not saying how I felt about him was my biggest regret. I had nothing to lose. I was dying so at least my dying words could have been 'I love you'. But no, for some reason I wouldn't allow myself to say such words. Maybe a part of me, the part that made me give my life, told me that I would just hurt him more. Now that would be my biggest regret. I would never want to give Ichigo more pain than what I already made him go through.

"_Stop! You can't do this!"_ His voice rang in my head. His concern for me was good enough to know that he did care about me. Of course it wasn't exactly what I wanted to hear, but I would rather fade away knowing he cared even if he just lost a friendship.

I zoned out of my trance on the water below. The sun glistened on the waves in the early morning. It was so hypnotizing and tiring at the same time. The lazy morning made the day seem so much longer. It wouldn't matter how long I stayed here. All day or a few more minutes, no one would have known my presence.

My anger rose. My tears were uncontrollable. Why?! Why was I only a memory? Memories fade from people's minds. How long would it take to forget about me? How long would it take for Ichigo to forget about me? I don't know... I don't know anything. I didn't know I was the Shinenju until the very last possible minute.

The wind picked up who knows why. But it only started to act up because I let go of my emotions. Was that the reason the wind started to act up? Because I was acting up? I have no clue. A memory wouldn't know.

After a few moments, I composed myself and as a result the wind died down. I heard girls complaining about how their skirts went wild. I rolled my eyes. They don't know what I have been through. I looked at them. Oh how I wished I could be them. That would be the greatest gift: to have a human body. I looked passed the girls, the men in suits and the joggers. Then my eyes adjusted to the new scenery. I saw a familiar color hair, orange. I saw Ichigo. For some reason I didn't have control of myself. I went right next to him. He was the same. Who knows how long it's been since I spoke to him. None of that mattered. The only thing I knew was that_ I _could see him.

He turned out toward the water. Something grabbed his attention. I wished it was me. I hoped he could feel my presence. I ignored my wants and looked at what grabbed his attention. A ribbon. The ribbon. The one he bought for me a long time ago. Almost as if on cue, the red ribbon which held so many precious memories to me rested in Ichigo's hand. For a moment I was sad. He didn't recognize it. It was a measly piece of cloth to him. How could he? He couldn't have forgotten so soon.

My body shook. My emotions got the best of me. I couldn't hold them back anymore. I held on to Ichigo's sleeve. I needed support even if he didn't know it. Out of everyone, I just wanted Ichigo to remember. No one else mattered. The one that made a difference in my life—no my 'existence' was the one that forgot.

I gazed back at the beloved face I adored so much through my tear filled eyes. His face changed slowly. I saw his eyes widen as did mine. Was he remembering… me? I looked at my hand which gripped on to his sleeve. Was my touch helping him remember?

"Oh shut up!" A familiar yet haunting voice rang.

A girl who looked exactly like me ran passed Ichigo and me. Those few moments felt like an eternity. She was the real Senna or who ever she really was. She existed and I didn't. I glanced back at Ichigo. He smiled to himself. He did remember! Thank heaven!

"Excuse me," Ichigo yelled out. I looked at him as did people around him. He tried to grab my look-a-like's attention. She stopped running and faced us… him.

"What do you want?" She replied with attitude.

"Is this yours?" He asked. I noticed that he sounded hopeful.

"The ribbon?" Her face filled with confusion. He nodded and held it out. "Nope, sorry that's not mine. It's a nice color though." She turned around in mid-conversation.

"Well, would you like it?" Ichigo offered. Both the girl and I were taken back. "I think this color will suit you." He added. I remember when he said that to me.

The girl walked toward him and grabbed the cloth. She examined it carefully. "I suppose it does suit me. Thanks." The girl obviously didn't know how to react to Ichigo's generosity.

"By the way, what's your name?"

"Uh… is that any of your concern? Who do you think you are?" The girl raised her voice.

"I just asked what your name was. Nothing more."

"Fine, it's Nozomi. Happy now." She didn't stay to hear his response.

"Yes, very. You remind me of someone I truly cared about." Who was he talking to now? The girl didn't stay and it's clear that no one near him listened. "I don't need that ribbon to remember you, Senna."

For the second time, my eyes widened. Was he communicating with me? Whether that was an outer thought or if was really talking to me, I knew he cared about me and remembered. Happy tears fell down my cheeks and once again I let go of his sleeve. He walked away with a smile on his face. That was all I needed to hear and see. He was going to live on whether he kept remembering me or not. I should let go. I'm the one that is holding him back. I'm the one that was sacrificed and I still stand by my actions. I just want him to be happy. Perhaps I won't be the one living life to the fullest, but at least Ichigo will. That's what really matters to me.

My body feels light again. I'm leaving you again Ichigo. I don't know how long it will be before we meet each other again, but just know that I care enough about you to let you go so you can live our life. My body it feels warm again just like it did when I first disappeared. But this time it will be a happy departure. Yes, memories disappear from our minds every now and then. But even the most important memories won't return to us whenever we want them to. But that doesn't mean the memories are gone. As I feel myself disappearing from this world once again, there will be one sentence that will keep me from giving up hope: I will be gone, but I most certainly won't ever be forgotten.

* * *

**YAYZ! I LOVE THIS PAIRING! I instantly fell in love with IchigoXSenna. They are so cute. It's mostly because I love tragic pairings. I just do. I don't know why. Um, how I came up with this well. I'm not quite sure. Well I got the DVD for my bday and after I watched it and memorized it, I started to think of what happened to Senna and about the look alike and it kinda went off from that. Pluuuuuuuuuuuuus, I got ideas from Kingdom Hearts. XP Hoped you enjoyed it XD**

**If I like sorta 'copied' someone else's work. I'm sorry. I didn't mooch off anyone, I swear. These are my thoughts of what I thought Senna was going through. If I offended anyone. Please tell me.**


End file.
